Here's a sampler of poems in Mugging for the Camera...
A Sarab& for the Ampers&
When you write a lot of words, sometimes in a list,
you’ll probably need an ampers&
or two for an assist,
because, the punctuation mark called ampers& can show
conjunction, which can come between two words or more, although
you could simply write the word 'and' - & then you'd see
it takes up much more sentence space. No practicality.
Economy of words, they say, is what's in great dem&
so choosing symbols carefully
can make books fall or st&.
I could yak on & on & on - & then perhaps exp&
the theme of this one grammar note, 'til it gets out of h&.
In truth, I think I've made my point, exactly as I'd pl&.
I'll end this chat by saying that the ampers&'s just gr&!
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Philematologists
Philematologists
study kissing everywhere -
even on the buss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Much
More Than CVI -
The Wasting Time on the Computer Sonnet
When in the chronicle of wasted time
Sudoku and Solitaire top my list.
I
surf the 'net for celeb dirt and slime
And
email my friends - well, you get the gist.
My problem is computer addiction.
Shakespeare
really had it right when he said,
"Henceforth,
I'll bear my IM affliction
But
I know not what I may do instead."
(Okay,
forgive me for the paraphrase -
It
works when I want to procrastinate.)
Does
wasted time equal a navel gaze?
I
only keystroke, not equivocate.
For
me, which now behold these mnemonics,
Like
Whitman, I sing the body electronics.
Insomniac
Whacks Poetic
O
Sleep - I suffer from a lack
thereof,
I'm an insomniac.
My
slumber now is much off-track;
I
doubt I'll ever get it back.
Last
night I had one more attack
of
wide-awakeness brain hijack.
Perhaps
tonight I'll get some slack.
O
yawn - I'm off to hit the sack.
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Wiggle the Handel
George
Frideric Handel, a famous musician,
wrote
lots of concerti in the style of Baroque.
He
penned several operas and a big composition
known
as The Messiah - an oratorio stroke
of
genius, and it is sung each year at Christmas
because
it's great fun to sing harmony part.
It's belted in France and the Panama
Isthmus,
in
malls, concert halls, and all from the heart.
I remember in college we'd sing it in the
shower
and
the reason for that was the acoustics were great.
My
friends would perform it with gusto and power
in
our communal dorm bathroom, just like an oblate.
Now,
you can download it for your ringtone pleasure:
your
cellphone can handel it, measure for measure.
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Cover
Your Ass
"Never moon a werewolf." -Mike Binder
Never
moon a werewolf - it's really taking chances
because
a werewolf doesn't care
about rear-ended stances.
And if your ass is sticking out, you could be unaware
of
when he's right about to bite on your sweet bottom bare.
Of
course, this is just metaphor, but in real life, it's best
to
never moon a werewolf. Just keep your buttocks dressed.
Guyliner
The
latest celebrity craze … for fab males,
whether
A-list or just talent minor
is
make-up for men, particularly to rim
their
eyes with a black kohl guyliner.
Green
Day, The Killers and even Zac Ephron
wear
clothes by their favorite designer,
but
to finish the ‘look’ that is so de
rigueur
is
to highlight les yeux with guyliner.
(This
point is especially relevant
for
rockers and all metrosexuals,
since
looking cool-hot in news photos
is
part of their status ‘contextuals’.)
Marketing
people are utterly genius:
Their
ad campaigns couldn’t be finer!
They’ve
masculinized women’s products for men
with
strong shadows and macho guyliner.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
Poem for Ytterbium
I'm
not terribly disturbium
by
those elements like Ytterbium.
In
fact, there seems to be no dearth
of
elements in the group Rare Earth.
Several
misnomers are present where
you
see the words called earth and rare:
First,
they are not earth; they're metal.
a
fact that I find quite unsettle-
ing,
but worse, they are not rare, or exceptional.
I
guess it's scientific perceptional.
In
RE, there are seventeen modus operandium
if
you count a lower number like – well…Scandium
along
with Yttrium. Chemists sure like their 'Y's
on
the Periodic Table enterprise.
Rare
Earths (or Metals) are much more widespread
than
gold or silver or platinum or lead.
But
back to Ytterbium, since I digress;
its
metallurgic qualities, I should address.
Ytterbium's
color is silvery-white
with
a luster that glows radioactively bright.
But
left outside, it will regrettably fare:
it
easily tarnishes in the air.
Natural
Ytterbium is full of isotopes
seven
are stable; seven have unstable scopes.
Interestingly
enough, when H20
meets
Ytterbium, the going is slow.
But
acids are another case
since
Ytterbium reacts with them with far less grace.
Ytterbium
has a low acute toxic rating
which
is good to know, if you've been ingestigating
Element
#70, from the Periodic Table,
and
on that note, let's end this fable.
Here's
to versatile Ytterbium -
as
Common Metals go, it's quite superbium.
Ish
Ka Bibble
There's
one word about which I'd never quibble,
and
that one word is called 'Ish-Ka-Bibble'.
I
know there are many such nonsense words -
but
this one says so much, in whole or in thirds.
So
let's take the first part, which, of course, is 'Ish'
which
rhymes effortlessly with wish, dish or fish.
However,
if you don't buy that - or think it merely bourgeois,
let's
rhapsodize on the second word, which is, simply put, 'Ka'-aaaaah!
And
lastly, that word of words, is the fabulous word 'Bibble'.
You
can pen it with calligraphy pen, or use crayon and just scribble.
The
point I want to make, and thereby call to your attention
is
that 'Ish-Ka-Bibble' isn't just a foolish word invention.
To
prove my point and show you just exactly what I mean,
let
me provide the case for how it might have grown routine.
Many
scholars think this word had its origin
with
the expression, "Don't worry," said with a shrug and a grin.
Then,
some perceived the meaning in the catch phrase, "Who cares?"
and others like the Yiddish link. Let's see
how it compares:
It looks and sounds like 'nicht gelibte'
or 'isch gabibble', you see?
And, Harry Hershfield's comic strip was
full of bel esprit,
of Abraham Kabibble, who would sell the
automobile
in 1914 - it had loads of - (You knew
this one was coming...!!!) -
oh yes, 'Ish-K'appeal'!
On Kay Kyser's show, it was a role, played
by Merwyn Bogue.
From
there, it became the thing to say: 'Ish-Ka-Bibble' was in vogue.
Believe
it or not, the term (more or less) was seen in works of Shakespeare
who
said, "...leave thy vain bibble-babble." Was he the pioneer?
Anyway,
'Ish-Ka-Bibble' feels so good to speak.
As
fun words go, it's great, you know! Say,
"Ish-Ka-Bibble." Say, c'est chic! ***
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*** Author's Note: The Ish Ka Bibble is also (as I explained it to my kids) a round, fuzzy, mythological creature with big friendly eyes, a huge smile - and also, skinny (like a stick) arms and legs which always have gloves and shoes and socks, respectively.
Check out a couple of Ish Ka Bibbles here.